3 minute read
I read a book a long time ago entitled "Nasty People" by Jay Carter. Great little book explaining how people basically "pay it forward" with hurt. If you hurt me, then I hurt someone else who hurts another person and so on. Who started this? More importantly, how can we stop the cycle?
It's not easy, but with a little work and a lot of prayer, people can respond God's way and stop the hurt. The key is to learn and choose to be a person who ACTS, not a person who REACTS. I know, I know -- easier said than done.
I counsel with clients using only temperament theory and therapy, which means I look to the very nature of who a person is (as he/she is created by God) to figure out what the person needs (and might not be getting) in order to travel this journey called life. Some temperaments are more prone to behaviors that cause hurt; some temperaments are more prone to super sensitivities from being hurt. Finding answers in our temperament traits helps us to be our best self as we face situations.
The bottom line, though, is that we all struggle with how to manage our emotions, particularly the big ones: anger/frustration, fear/worry, hurt/rejection. When we struggle, we hurt others and often ourselves as well. And, usually anger is the second emotion we experience with the first emotion possibly being hurt from the past, frustration in the moment, or fear about the future. If we don't handle the first emotions as God intends, then we are vulnerable to sinning in our anger. And sin is a slippery slope, right? And a topic for another random thought! (Yes, for the record, not all anger is sin. I hear your comments in my head as I write my thoughts.)
The good news is that God gives us solutions! People need people, and more importantly, people need Jesus. Our faith and self-discipline in following God's wisdom help us to navigate through situations. Accessing the Lord's power in our lives doesn't mean we won't get hurt or hurt others, but it does mean that we are accessing the only true solution toward working through the situation. In my darkest moments of being hurt by others, or feeling ashamed because I hurt someone else, I know and believe the Lord was there with me, nudging me through the Holy Spirit to make good decisions about how to respond.
I'm sure you have had similar experiences, too. If you are stuck and need help with some strategies to manage your emotions, particularly hurt, call me. With the Lord's help, together we'll get you back on track quickly.
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"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)